The Cupboard Saga

It is that time of the year again. No, it is not Diwali yet when you are supposed to spring clean your cupboard, room and home of all the unwanted stuff and make way for Goddess Lakshmi, alias new things! Practically, now, it is all year round. Given the smaller spaces, better affordability and bigger materialistic appetites, the cupboards are ready to fall apart unless they are reviewed every quarter, at the least! One of those quarters is when I visit home. I review the cupboards to see what is 'passable' to whom, age wise, relation-wise and appropriateness wise.
Starting that exercise this morning I realized, I am in a big mess! ‘Water, water everywhere, not a drop to drink!'- That is what it is. My cupboard is overflowing. Overflowing with clothes I might need to wear on one specific occasion or the other, just once or twice in a year! Saris, Salwar-kameez, Western Casuals, office wear, formal Indian wear!!!! Give me a break! When I am here, I wear the stuff everyone wears- western casuals or formal, as the case may be. The saris get worn only twice in a year- but you cannot repeat them! Can you? So, every year you buy those two 'new' saris!! When I go home, Salwar-kurtas seem more appropriate, functional and acceptable. The ones in my cupboard have already gone 'out of fashion'- so do I have a choice but buy new ones when I am there?? And of course, for socialization with 'our' people here, I need to keep a stock of formal Indian wear too!!!!
Every spring cleaning hits me in the face with the clothes which have never been worn and have gone out of fashion in their hangers, the money and time  wasted on buying them, and the fact that I will need to do all this, all over again! So much for adhering to, “While in Rome, do as the Romans do"!

My Dutch neighbour had once remarked that he knew his receptionist was Indian because of the brightly coloured clothes that she wore. He was right! I also wonder sometimes how and why Europeans spend their life wearing whites, blacks, greys and browns. I go berserk looking at the colours in the INdian markets when I go home and end up buying some really bright suits. Once here, i have not dared to wear them even once for the fear of being reported for hurting public sensibilities. 

In the end, my cupboard is as  multihued as it could be- blacks, whites and greys stand right next to the lime greens, baby pinks, fuchsias, turquoise blues and bright oranges. The 6-yard drapeable fabric on the same rod as the tough denim or the softer silk and chiffon. In the end, my spring cleaning will have to go on, and so will my thought-  am i losing myself in a big boiling, frothy, cooking bowl, or am i being open and embracing the different flavours? Whatever it is, one thing is clear- I NEED A BIGGER CUPBOARD!!!!

Obituaries

I have this strange habit of reading Obituaries in the newspapers as and when and where I see them. My first instinct is to look at the date of birth of the departed one, and assess if the deceased had had a long life. My eyes then shift to the names and relationships mentioned below the picture. An older person has grandchildren, while a younger one would have the spouse and children mentioned there. The most tragic ones are the youngest lot, who had yet to see the rainbow their life could be. I cannot help wondering what could have caused their departure- was it sickness, accident, a foolish decision...either way, it is sad especially for the immediate family. A long life, on the contrary, carries an assumtion of a well-lived life and a lot of relationships that adorned the deceased's life on this earth, and death seems to be the natural course of life cycle in such a case.

This may sound gross to some, but I just cannot help noticing it. A silent prayer for the gone passes as I hope that their loved ones find the courage to move on. But there was something in the obituary i saw yesterday that made me pause a little longer than the usual. The gentleman in this one was born in the same year as I, and is survived by his wife and daughter. I felt weird, sad and scared, all at the same time. I could not imagine that I am already in the ‘possible to die now’ age range. I could not imagine what it would be like for his wife and daughter now. Everyone who loses a dear one, or a dearest one, ceases to live for a long while, but in this case, their lives would  literally cease. Their bank account could be frozen, their visa cancelled. With the breadwinner gone, they have to move back to their home country, learn to live without him,  all on their own, and all over again. It would be so much of hard work, both emotionally, and financially…I really hope their future life is not as tough as it seems to me right now…

On a similar note, I was wondering why is it that when you hear the bad news, you keep getting bad news. It started with our teacher's father’s death, followed by my friend’s mom, then a colleague’s brother, then Japan…it seems God needs everyone at once! I am now waiting for the good news, and I know once you start seeing birth announcements, you will keep on seeing them everywhere- God probably sends also in batches, at least  I hope so!

The 3-crore wedding/ Shaadi 3-crore ki

I know, i know, it is criminal but to alleviate the seriousness of  my offence,  i confess- i watch reality shows! Not all of them, but some. They are anyday better than the sad, run of the mill 'serials'. Enough in my defence!
The latest one that i have started following is the 3-crore Wedding. Honestly, having attended only 3 weddings in the family in the last 14 years (what a shame!), I have no clue how much do weddings in India cost now. But i am enjoying watching all the ceremonies, all the 'functions', all the banter within the families that is normal at these times, trousseau shopping, and what not. I am enjoying looking at all that greasy, heavy food and all the sweets, and all the 'inside' emotions of extended families, which do point to one fact, money rules!!! The groom-to-be is cute and the bride is shy. The overweight  relatives are happy in their skin and keep on repeating that it is a 3-crore wedding and they have to look the part. Both sets of parents look adorably protective of their child's interest, especially the girl's mother. Can a normal daily soap compete with the more convincing, even if scripted, cunningness of first cousins and their wives?? I doubt! The clothes shopping made the relatives ask, rather frankly, for their own personal budgets. The gold shopping is still pending, and i am waiting to see whether the wicked plan of relatives to get the Wedding Jewellery budget allocated in their favour will work or not? More than anything else,  the bride and the groom-to-be seem to be so much in love that this wedding  speaks in favour of the traditional 'ARRANGED' Indian marriages!

mmmm...I am loving it!

Is that rabbit yours?

When we stopped because of a black furry 'thing' ahead of us, we thought it was a puppy, having been let out by someone for some fresh air. We were more than surprised to see that it was a rabbit- a black rabbit with a band of fur around its neck, which looked more like a pet collar! It went hopping all around the park, with us in tow, curious to know who did it belong to. Suddenly, it took a service road and hopped out onto the main road! Worried that it might get run over by a car, we followed it. The bunny was for sure lost, because it was responding to the sound of clapping or any whistle, when we tried to attract its attention to the carrot in our hand. It was hopping from garage to garage, probably trying to locate its lost home. Unfortunately, they all look the same, except the make of the car(s) parked in the garage! So much for symmetry!
"This one, or that one?", the rabbit seemd to think as it stopped in front of each garage.
 It was getting dark, and while we did succeed in feeding it the carrot, we did not know what else we could do to save it from getting mauled by a cat or a dog or worse, killed by a car! We called the Community Security and asked for their help. The response was lukewarm, telling us that they will see what they can do. Luckily, a security staff patrolling on his bicycle was passing by and we stopped him to show the rabbit and ask for direction in this regard. He was more honest and said, "Where will we keep the rabbit? But I will inform the head office."
As the bunny hopped on, we had to come back home.
Once home, we called up the Municipality, which is responsible for taking care of pets-related issues, besides a whole lot others. DM was less than forthcoming though. We were told that since this was within the 'community', the Community Security was responsible for it, not the Municipality.
"But you do charge us  a hefty Housing Fee every month," I could not help saying, wondering if the Municipality is not 'responsible' for what goes on in the community, why do we have to pay such a huge amount in Housing Fee to it in the first place.
"Well, that's for everyone!"
"Yes, sure!", I thought, not wanting to discuss the fact that many many people had been living for years without having to pay the fee, and in spite of the Municipality’s claims that their system had been improved and now everyone was being charged fairly, there was no guarantee that we were not being ‘penalised’ for being the law abiding citizens!
"You keep the rabbit", the gentleman on the toll free number said generously.
I wanted to tell him that while I was an animal lover, it was only from a distance- I could not handle them, leave alone catch a hopping rabbit!
I called up the Community Security again and briefed them about my conversation, and requested them to do something before the rabbit gets run over by a driver considering the community roads a highway! Honestly, they said, there was nothing much they could do.
We gave up, hoping that the rabbit with its shiny black fur, attentive ears and happy hopping will be able to find its way home. I have not yet received any 'missing rabbit’ notice from any resident, so that is a good thing. (Or, is it worse- have the owners, like many other pet owners, moved out of the country and left the pet behind to fend for itself on the streets of the city? I hope not!)
On a sadder note, the rabbit made me think that we too are like it. Being non residents of our home country, we have no rights there, except to a NRE account! Being a non-national here, we have no rights here too! I hope, like that bunny rabbit, we can also find our real home one day.

Wishing well...

The Namesake was one novel and movie i enjoyed reading and watching thoroughly, i think because of its closeness to reality. The bad news, both, regarding Aushima's father and later, her husband, comes via the telephone, the routine object that we use many times in the day and that is the bearer of most of our news these days. It reaffirmed my hatred for late night phone calls so much so that i have come to dread them. When i heard about my friend's mother passing away yesterday, i could only hope that she had had the opportunity to be closer to her mom at that time of unexpected departure. I could only hope that she had not got the worst news of her life through the phone.
I want to speak to this friend, to try to convey my feelings; and yet, i am at a loss for words. What do you tell a person who has lost a parent? Will, what i say, lessen her grief, or help her at all? How do i tell her that I understand,  that her excruciating pain cannot be mitigated, except with time?
 Parents are irreplaceable, our sole source of unconditional love and acceptance; witnesses of our life with all its inside stories; our pillars of strength, unselfish advice and prayers; despite all our disagreements and arguments and what not. Losing  any of them is a thought we never let come to our mind.
I see them growing older, and i get scared. I want my stronger daddy back, a little voice in my head tells me. I want my active mom again, the image search department of my brain screams back, showing me her images of managing her job and home and kids and social circle, and everything that we have been taking for granted. I want them to be around for a very very long time, I want them to stay happy and healthy, and i hope the same for everyone's parents. God bless all the parents, always!!!!!!

The pursuit of happiness...

One look at the sky above with its uncertain clouds; deciding whether to play hide and seek with sun today, or stay right here for a while and unload their water tanks; the sun trying really hard to show its luminous face, the birds talking rather excitedly, the wind giving the last signs of a waning winter and the impending hot summer ahead- for once, I did not feel like having my usual morning cup of tea. I enjoyed just sitting and watching, and wondering why haven't I done it all winter? I have had the opportunity but I have chosen more mundane things over the exciting ones, letting another beautiful winter slip by in the process.

Every afternoon, I tell myself, I must have lunch outdoors. The sun is not going to be kind all the time...and yet, I turn on the television and watch some silly reality show to make my lunchtime more alive.

Am I the only one like this? Are the people employed in well-paying, full time jobs more disciplined to have their quality times? I have doubts. Others' lives always seem more interesting, but if I had to go to a coffee morning every day, or even every other day of the week, I will be bored to death. If my idea of fun had to be just shopping every day, I will not only be broke but again bored to death. If I had to go to full time work every day that finishes when the moon has already said hello to my part of the world, will I be happy then? NO!  And yet, we see these people, all around us, seemingly perfectly happy with themselves, their lives. Either they are really happy or they believe that they are happy, or worse, we believe that they are happy when actually they are not! My conclusion-  everyone to his own! Happiness will always be both, illusive and elusive, until we figure it out in our own minds and hearts.