CAROLYN SARITA SANTHOJI...

It was a hot summer day. A class of grade 7, neatly seated as two rows of girls and two rows of boys; just about to start their Hindi lesson. And then, she came, out of the blue, just like that! Our Hindi teacher introduced her to us as Carolyn Sarita Santhoji...a very young, petite, South Indian girl.

We got along rather well, but then she was friendly with everyone. Over the years, we fell into a comfortable friendship where we shared secrets, food, betrayals and gossip. We even managed to get a special permission for our after-school 'picnic' once- just us- Sarita, her brother, my brother and I. She got fresh, hot idlis from her on-campus home while my mom had either sent the extra snacks with us that morning or my father came to give them in the afternoon, i don't remember. But i do remember that while we were hoping for it to be an all fun evening, it started seeming very eerie after the whole school was empty and it was just the four of us left there...even though we had all the swings to our disposal, it was not all that fun not having to fight with anyone for our turn!

I can still see her walking across our vast playground, her ponytail and her smile...

Then they moved, and we lost touch after a couple of years...until recently. Yes, i got in touch with her family again after about 20 years, and was eager to know about her.

Life did not turn out very well for her. Her family went through one personal loss after the other. And yet, i was hoping it will be all OK in the end. I could hear a nagging thought at the back of my mind, "Good, she didn't know any of this back then. It would have taken her smile away too early then..."

Sarita was sick, terribly sick for the last couple of years. So sick, that i had to ask that question again, "why she??" But i never still imagined it will all happen so soon, no one did, i think. Even though we realise now, may be this was for the better- so much of suffering that she and her family had been going through...may be it is God's way of putting an end to that suffering.

And yet, you couldn't help thinking, 'how can someone so young die so suddenly??'

As we shared the sad news, a friend said "wish we had spoken to her!"
It broke my heart...

Yes, wish i had spoken to her. Wish i had said a hello before i realised i could not ever say a bye to her again...wish....

I realised, how important it is to DO the right thing immediately, instead of waiting to find time, or even the right moment- because, this is THE right moment! If only i had spoken to her right when i got in touch with her brother, i would have been able to make new memories of her, to relive our friendship though a bit distantly...Now, i am constantly haunted by her images from school days, wondering, how she did know what lay ahead of those sunny, laughter and confusion filled school days. Wondering, if she had gotten better, she would have been able to look back at all of this as just a bad phase in life...

I thank God for not letting us see the future, because if we could, we would forget to even live our present...

Sarita, i am so sorry i did not speak to you when i could...but i hope you are happy and healthy there...I really do.