L'Affaire

OK! I am finally convinced that I will be like fish out of water when we move back to India. Why, it already seems like a different country! For example, a friend told me yesterday about her friend's extramarital affair that has been going on for a few years now. She did not want to share the 'secret' but the pressure of keeping it for so long had started getting on her nerves. And since I do not know her friend, she could safely use A and B instead of their real names, without a threat to their private and public lives. 

To say I was shocked, would be an under-statement because these two people in question were not some teenagers; high on hormones, confused, infatuated, experimenting until they met the right people....no, these were grown ups- people in their forties, people with families where they play the role of parents to their children, and caretakers for their aging parents, people with long-standing marriages where they shared history and future, people who could very well comprehend the consequences of their actions but they just chose to follow their heart (?). Well- this must be what they call mid-life crisis then. Like no one told that marriages are not all fairy-tale 'happily ever-after' affairs until you find it for yourself  that there is no such thing as a 'perfect marriage', no one told about mid-life crisis either! 

Extra-marital affairs are not new to mankind but they have, historically, held the status of being taboo, an exception rather than the norm.....so what has happened now? When did the moral code change so much that people now 'want to experiment outside marriage', with or without the knowledge of their spouses? Whatever happened to the old-fashioned covert appreciation of another person's husband or wife or partner, and leaving it at that? Is it really normal now for people to look for a little extended comfort and excitement outside marriage when they start seeing their own marriage as stagnant, and want to do nothing to improve it? Or are there any other reasons too? 

Looking at my face, my friend said I was over-reacting....this was 'almost the norm', at least in metros! Is it? I am not judging anyone but it would be interesting to know what motivates, gives courage to people to break the promises of fidelity, without guilt. And, equally interesting to know if they would be so forgiving of their partner's/ spouse's little experiments too?