So, how would you like to be remembered?

While talking to my mom on the phone yesterday, I realized how the most prominent thing I remember about my mom (at the same age as I am today) is her active life- her being busy all the time; her running around between her job, social obligations, us, domestic responsibilities, and her colleagues, her camps in Simla and Kashmir, her travel to Manipur...I do not remember a single time when she had health issues. That certainly does not mean she did not have any- she had her share of pains and pills, but the fact that she did not let that dominate her life is the only reason why I have no memory of it.

Compared to that, I wondered, while still talking to her, what would my kids remember me as? What would anyone else remember me as?

I am not a politician, so there is no chance of a public holiday to celebrate my birth or mourn my death and no inclusion in school books of my biography detailing my achievements in life and my contribution to my country.

I am not a celebrity, so no back to back movies or songs or plays either to showcase and remember and revive my magical acting or dancing or singing or musical abilities.

I am not a page 3 socialite, so no mention or pictures of me on page 3 either.

I am not even in a full time job anymore- so there goes the two-minute silence (and by the way, that would only happen once- they wouldn’t remember a co-worker the next year!).

I am not a social worker- so no such thing as having changed others' lives and living through them...

Oh yes, I do donate blood, had pledged my eyes (wonder about the validity though!)- But that’s no big deal, hundreds of thousands of people do that. 

So, who would remember me and why?

May be my family- my kids, and for a while, their kids; my siblings and their kids, my cousins and their kids, a few friends, old neighbours....That’s actually about it.

And what would they remember me as? As someone's mom, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, aunt, niece, cousin etc.etc. That would be a celebration of the various relationships that I was enriched with but not the person I was, not what I cherished or believed or rebelled against, or achieved, or even did not achieve, loved or hated, understood or misunderstood.....

And what would they remember me for? For just playing the role that was handed down to me as a matter of fact?

I hope though, that my kids remember me for love, for taking care of them to the best of my ability and understanding, for choosing them above all else, and not for the arguments  that we have, the forced trips to various kinds of extracurricular classes, the anxiety about health, the trips to doctors  or  even the stern denials that parents have to exercise sometimes. I also hope though, that while I am still with them I can do something worthwhile enough for them to be proud of me…(I guess that would be an easy aid in remembering me later J)

The truth is, I realise,  we all have an opportunity to be remembered; and a choice too. We can pass through our life and onto the next, just as a matter of routine; or we can do something to celebrate this life and be remembered for it later....I am ashamed to admit that so far, I was just passing through mine, I wonder though if I have earned the wisdom to do something better with it now...