Go, Gossip!!!

Well, after years and years of assuming, learning, observing and concluding that I hate gossip; gossip is bad (at least for someone's reputation); that our problems and woes are ours alone; that my life is just my business and I do not want to talk to a third person about it...well, after all of that, I am now learning (afresh!) that gossip might actually be good for me! And for you, and for just about anyone!

It appears that the bottled up emotions; good, bad, neutral; fear, elation, love, hatred, and the whole lot; they are not good for us. We need to release them. And by releasing them, I do not mean go on the web and its multitude of social networks and start talking just about anyone. I only mean to say that we all need to have at least one good friend with whom you can share all of your happiness and miseries. Now that friend could be your spouse, your brother, your sister, your parent, your partner, your co-worker, your classmate, even your mom-in law- just as long as you do not spread malicious rumour about anyone , I think you will reap the benefits of talking. Apparently, talking relieves the stress of not talking (i.e. same as keeping quiet = keeping it all bottled up inside you= danger of that volcano erupting one day= chemical imbalance in the brain/ emotional breakdown/ depression). I am no doctor- but I am just sharing with you the advice I have recently received myself, from a most trusted professional. 

So, lighten up. Share your pain, your story about the people in your life (boss/ colleague/ roommate/ partner/a friend turned foe/ neighbour/ the stinky lab partner/ in-laws -yes, believe it or not- they are universally prone to be gossiped about the most!- et al), the sickness that you are going through, the happiness you experience, the little joys and the little sorrows (the maid being late for work again, e.g.!) ....it might just do you good!! Just give it an outlet, and the other person's insight might come as a bonus along with it.

 Finding someone you can trust more than enough; someone with enough patience and time to listen to your babbling.....that is the most difficult part, the only one problem in the whole deal. May be I need different people for different kinds of gossiping! (and spare that one person i was thinking about earlier!!)

P.S.: Take this advice at your own risk. Discretion is highly advised. Again!

Trying to understand His ways...

I have been taught (I am struggling to still learn it…but that’s another story!) that God knows the best…and our difficult times are just a ‘Test’. And a whole lot like that…

I am still struggling to understand these fundamentals of survival because for the life of me, I cannot figure out why does God have to test His own product? He should have some faith in His own creation??

Why do good people get tested more than the bad? Is that also His preparation for something bigger and better?

Why do young people die? They shouldn’t! At all….what could be a possible explanation for this? Is it their karma? Or are they just paying for bad karma of their parents (since their parents get punished when their young one is taken away from them?)??? And why wait for so long to punish one for the bad karma…that they have no memory of what they did so bad to deserve a punishment now?

I met this gentleman yesterday. Now, Dubai is a strange place- it is so small and yet you never ever bump into your colleagues or exes or neighbours or friends or even your FB group or yoga class members anywhere; and yet, you can, most definitely can, bump into a trolley full of grocery…belonging to your ex-ex-boss; just like that! I was seeing him after almost 13 years…and I had no difficulty in recognising him. As I initiated the conversation and asked the usual, “So, where are you now?” I could see that he was trying hard to recognise me but I am not sure if he did. And suddenly, just like that, in the middle of shoppers in the Fruit and Vegetable section, holding onto our trolleys, he told me his 21 years old daughter has stage 4 cancer, and he has just come back after finishing first five weeks of treatment for her. I was shell-shocked. I didn’t know what to say. I had seen this young girl when she was about 7 or 8…and the only thought that crossed my mind was (and I am sorry if anyone thinks this is blasphemy) that this is rude. God cannot do this, should not do this. Isn’t it sadistic on His part to give something, let it be nurtured and made beautiful and; and then suddenly, with a snap of His fingers, harm it so much? Who is He testing, and for what? The doctors here had a part to play in this plan of His, is also worth a mention though (they couldn’t diagnose her cancer for a year, resulting in it reaching stage 4!)

At a time like this, it is easier for an outsider to give a lecture on all the morale-boosting words he has picked up along the life’s way; but as a sufferer, it is so difficult to keep faith. You oscillate between praying and getting angry; hope and despair; negotiating and giving up…

I cannot figure out why, just why does God do this? It is okay to test, but making a young life (and there are younger lives…children with leukaemia, thalassemia, and other diseases for which nothing can be done except managing the pain…) go through so much of suffering does not justify it. Or, maybe I am just too weak; not brave enough to withstand the pressure of His tests. Forgive me, but that’s how He made me!

Disclaimer: I hope i have not hurt anyone's religious or spiritual sentiments by expressing my thoughts on the 'will of God'- that was certainly not the intention. I am only searching for the answers that seem to elude me.

That, my friend, explains it!

“My one cat has a British passport, and the other- UAE passport.”

“What? Cats also get passports?” said one.

“Our kids don’t get the UAE passport, but the cats do?” another disbelieving voice.

In reply, she just shrugged.

But it just did not leave me. Was the cat’s life really better than ours, or just simpler?

After all, a cat does not worry if it gets its last rites done here or in the home country.

A cat will, most probably, not have a will- so whether the Sharia laws apply, or that of the home country do- it doesn’t matter.

A cat doesn’t worry if it gets any benefits from having a particular nationality, or if it is eligible for social benefits because taxes have been paid on its behalf all through its life- including, fines and tolls…

A cat is happy to live wherever its family lives- the human family- and doesn’t fret over being away from its roots.

A cat doesn’t have to think if a citizenship will help its kittens get admission in prestigious universities in that country.

A cat doesn’t care if it has a property here or back home, or loans, or a fancy car, and its loans; or an overdue card – it doesn’t need those designer shoes or bag or dress, or hobby lessons….

It does not even have a religion- so it does not have to worry about any rituals, restrictions, religious holidays, freedom to practice its religion, or just plain sense of comfort from being amongst more cats from the same region/ religion/ caste/ country/ colour…

The cat doesn't think about which country has good healthcare system....

The cat probably, most probably, doesn’t think about retirement, and all the practical problems that come with it…

All it needs is a loving family, and just enough money to meet its needs…

Of course, its life is so much more simpler to manage and afford- even for the government!

Now, if only human life was just as straight forward……my friend wouldn’t have to clear that history exam to get her British passport! Probably!!!