Warning: Fragile! Handle with Care!!

Diwali is all about materialism- the wealth being spent, exchanged and acquired. And I firmly believe that even if some people choose to say it has become more commercial with every passing year, there is no fun without gifts. Exchange of gifts is essential to Diwali, as is the exchange of good wishes. Traditionally, this exchange mainly meant exchange of sweets but as people have become more aware and more diabetic and as the sweet makers have started resorting to sourcing chemical laden artificial milk and it’s by products for making of these sweets, every Diwali sees 'new' gift ideas.

As we get ready to light up the world tomorrow and exchange gifts, I am wondering if there really was a need to spend all that money on the gifts this year. I mean, I do have last year's and the year before’s unopened gifts, literally; and being Indians, we take pride in the fact that long before the West even discovered the need for it, we were recycling everything- from clothes to newspapers to gift wrapping papers to gifts themselves! So, what stopped me from being the true Indian now?

Well, the appropriateness. The unopened ones are still unopened (I mean, they were opened from a side and seen but not opened fully!) because they are either totally inappropriate for Diwali, or are in too old boxes ( I suspect, having been recycled a lot more times, and are probably unwanted!), or too bad to be even given away.

What is it with people? Some perfectly normal people with seemingly (going by their adorned houses) perfect taste in things seem to get so stingy while buying gifts for others that it affects their choice, and to some extent their reputation. As a receiver of some of such gifts, I sincerely feel they should refrain from gifting anything at all. That would really be better than gifting something so utterly out of place that I can do nothing but let it occupy space and dust in my storage space!

I am all for recycling of unwanted gifts- it saves time, money and space in every house- but there has to be some common sense attached to the process. You should not give what you consider a total invasion of space in your home to someone else just for the sake of seeing that good-for-nothing 'gift' finally gone from your house. Do not, please do not, give new-born baby stuff to a household which does not have a new born baby! Do not give expired gift vouchers- they might look good and so useful but you can for sure say goodbye to your next party invitation! Also, please refrain from giving recently expired or just- about- to-expire chocolate boxes- literally bad taste!!! In fact, regular supermarket chocolates should altogether be avoided (unless they really are the last resort!). I think they scream- ‘I was too late! I had no patience to choose something better! You are not on my priority list- so even though I got your invitation weeks ago, I had no time!’ Also, if you know a person closely enough to know that he/she is diabetic, please do not gift sweets.

The point is festivals are fun with gifts and meeting and eating and greeting. Even if you have to spend a little time in thinking and choosing, take heart in the fact that you do this just once a year- so you might as well do it nicely, or do not do it at all! Take a small plant instead, a small card, even an open and honest apology that you could not find anything appropriate. It would certainly be better than a bad gift, though if you make a habit of turning up at people's parties and lunches and dinners with just apologies, you will have to cook your own very soon (unless you are lucky enough to have friends who just want you to be a part of their happiness and specifically want no gifts!)

And for those who believe in ‘recycle and reuse’- please do remember to remove the original gifter's name card from inside the gift wrapping!

Happy Gifting! The season had just started!!!

Winter,winter...here it comes!

The foggy morning, the cool breeze, the trees being pruned, the winter collections in stores, the dew drops on the grass and the clothes hung out to dry the previous afternoon, and hence, the need to hang them out for another afternoon….yes!!!  Finally, we are about to welcome the winter.

Dubai witnessed a terrible accident yesterday on Dubai Bypass road- a 35 car pile-up, some of which got burnt and at least 14 injuries. The side effects of the onset of winters…people get so lost in the beauty of the morning that they forget they are in conditions they are not used to…they continue to drive like mad, use hazard lights instead of fog lights, use high beams instead of low, and do not maintain safe distance…

But that hazard apart, the mornings are once again beautiful…and a time for tussle. I have started having arguments with kids if it is time yet to start wearing the school sweatshirts, or trousers instead of shorts, or full sleeves instead of short? Is it time to start taking out the woollens yet? Is it time to rearrange the cupboards yet?  Is it time to go shopping yet??

Visiting Bangalore once, many years back, we loved the mild, pleasant weather there but were surprised to see the locals wearing monkey caps and scarves and what not…I remember wondering what would they do if they were to encounter a Northern winter?? I think living in the desert has made us too like that…just a mild winter, and yet, we shop for sweaters and scarves and stoles every season!

My winters are never really fully welcomed without remembering the beautiful winter mornings back home. Thick blanket of fog, frozen fingers, wanting to stay put in the warm bed for just five more minutes (which passed more like a second!), not wanting to come out of the quilt, and yet having to get out of the house and go about the daily business of life…fragrance of tea during the day and mugs of beaten coffee at night, the  coriander and radish paranthas with desi ghee, the makki ki roti, sarson ka saag and jaggery, the packets of peanuts eaten every night in front of the TV or every afternoon basking in the sun, the room heaters, cold creams, the winter vegetables like cabbage, turnips and carrots, oranges for the right amount of vit C, dry fruits filled up in our school coat pockets, exams, and our own daily tussle with parents for wearing the right woollens! And more than anything else, the feel of cool air on your face…nothing has ever come quite close to that!!!

I am not sure what memories my kids will carry of their winters…probably camping in the backyard, going to the beaches and parks, and long drives, and doctors! With all the fruits and veggies available the year round now, they do not even have an idea of what was or is typically a summer fruit or vegetable or winter one. I am not sure if that is any longer important either…

What is important though is to be able to enjoy the beautiful short winters that we get…the only time of the year when our electricity bills drop- thanks to no need for ACs and shorter duration of water heaters  needed to be switched on (rest of the year we anyway get hot water!), and the only time of the year when we hope to see rain, and miss the gumboots and raincoats for kids (thanks to our underprepared drainage systems- the schools have been waterlogged badly in the past!). And, for the uninitiated, also the only time of the year when long forgotten friends and distant relatives suddenly tend to remember us…any guesses why???

Happy and healthy winters!!!!

You are under surveillance!

Last festive season saw me looking at the pictures of a 'friend' who had declined invitation to my party, feigning extreme business due to inflow of house guests. I was not looking at her pictures because I missed her so much, but because she was appearing in pictures of another acquaintance's party! I wished she had told me the truth - it would have helped me save a tiny little corner for her...

I did not realise it then, but I do realise it now that with Facebook having invaded our lives, there is no running away! I might decline your invitation with a lie but if another friend decides to tag me in her photos of a happy gathering, my cover is blown! (The same can be used to test your friend list...was I invited to the glittering party whose pictures are now clogging my FB page...meaning it was definitely by someone on my 'Friend' list???, does it matter to me? or, does it tell me where I stand on their 'Friend' list, or is it time to reorganise  my 'Friend' list and separate friends and acquaintances and neigbours and JLT (Just Like That) people on that list???).

With the festive season on us, and the invitations blowing in right, left and centre, my suggestion is, be honest. If you are going to another party, for reasons that only you know (that party is more exciting/ you have already committed to go there/ you are expecting guests/ you have no time for acquaintances and may rather party with close friends/ you do not like mingling with total strangers and would rather chill at home etc.etc.etc.), say so. Honesty has been and will always be the best policy! You might think you are smart enough to make a smart excuse but God forbid, if your invitee lands at the same party????? And for sure, someone or the other will tag you! Oh yes, there is one more alternative: leave your life behind and get busy organising your FB life to the T..leave no loop holes, take no chances.

Of course, it is your call...you might have to make a tough call though, break a few hearts but it will be worth it in the long run. And only you can judge how important your relationship to this invitee is.

I, of course, have never invited that 'friend' ever again, although I do not forget to say a big Hi and hug her when I see her at the local supermarket! (I have confessed earlier on...I pretend!!) ;)))))

Save the Handshake!

A few weeks ago, we decided to try the Balance Café at Oasis Centre. Now, what is so great about a new café, one might wonder, considering the umpteen cafés we already have in Dubai.  Well, this one is supposed to be based on the principles of Ayurveda with the menu crafted under the supervision of Chef Sumit Kumar from the renowned wellbeing destination ‘Ananda in the Himalayas’.

So, we decided to give it a go.  Since we were just two, we chose a table for two on the side- not that we had much choice, the place was already packed with hungry patrons! It was while waiting for our order to arrive that I noticed someone. He did not look even a tiny bit familiar…he was sitting at a large table in the centre, with his back to the main entrance, entertaining a few guests that afternoon. As the lunch hour progressed, larger groups of people started coming in, and they all looked like they worked somewhere close by. While some came in smaller groups of 3 and 4, others came in larger groups as if it was an office lunch or something.

 A lot of them would come in, recognise the gentleman from the back, and proceed to shake hands with him; occasionally hugging the other guests too.  It was at that point that I guessed if the gentleman who was sitting at right angle and a few tables away from us, was  Mr Micky Jagtiani (Chairman, Landmark Group and reported as the Gulf’s richest Indian and  one of the most powerful figures in the Middle East retail industry- http://www.arabianbusiness.com/) himself?   Irrespective, it was a good thing he was eating with his left hand…he would have to wash his hands mid munch at least 20 times by then otherwise.

I realised at that very moment what I would remember the most from that afternoon there… not the balanced food, nor the unwanted overpriced bottle of local water, not even the menu catering to  dietary restrictions…no…instead, it would be seeing him shaking hands with the right hand, and eating with the left, and wondering about our own intrusive habits.

Why do we really shake hands with someone when they are having their food- be it at a party, a social gathering, an office lunch, or an unexpected bump at a restaurant…anywhere? Of course, if you were only using the fork and the knife, it would not be so bad…but it would be neater and nicer to be left alone to enjoy the food, to eat with clean hands rather than having to shake it mid-meal with hands that might have just been sneezed or coughed into, or unwashed after a visit to the toilet, or worse…

It is for the same reason I wonder why the restaurants do not offer wipes/ finger bowls before beginning to serve the food…just in case there is no wash room around and the patrons need to wash their hands before eating (I would certainly want to if i am coming there after shopping/ working/ from anywhere!).  And, even if you were using just a fork and a knife and not your hands as in the traditional Indian fare, you might still need your hands to break that bread on the side plate!

Is it anywhere on the book of good manners? Because it should be!!!

Celebrating Festivals-From the memory bank, to the memory bank

It is that time of the year again...when we clean our homes, spend more money on filling it up again, give up our fitness regimes and just live it up (read as: eat anything and everything...)!!! With Diwali just round the corner, the memories of festivals celebrated in India are flooding me.

The government is tolerant and we are allowed to celebrate our festivals here but unlike India, there are no holidays for the same. While adults can still take off from their work, the kids do not really have that option...so this Diwali, which is falling on a week day, will only have the muted puja and sweets ceremony and we can only have fun on the weekend.

I can only remember our own Dusshera holidays followed by three straight days off on Diwali...the weather would be changing, the festivity already in the air, the peanuts being roasted and for sure their shells decorating every cinema hall and Ram Lila pandal, warm woollens being taken out of their trunks and cupboards for airing and some sunlight; smelling of moth balls even days after....it was a beautiful time of the year.

We were crazy about Ram Lila, the enactment of Lord Ram's life until he comes back home with Sita ji, after 14 years in the woods, and all that happens in between. It was the same story that we had heard since we were born, but still, the Ram Lila was a kind of a theatre...different groups performing it at different locations, and each one with its own reputation.; only there were no female actors. Every day, we would try to go to different Ram Lila to see and judge which one was the best...and sometimes, we had our very own Ram Lila too- the children of the neighbourhood would decide to do one for the neighbourhood families.

Dusshera would be celebrated at home (now referred to as my mom's home), perched at the top floor looking at the crowds below- primarily men, women and children from nearby villages and the local labour; and at the huge effigy of Raavan in the sports stadium a few blocks away. We would all first watch all the jhaankis of various Ram Lila committees and the brightly dressed women with their fluorescent ribbons and at least 10 cms long orange coloured vermillion in their head parting. The balloon man, the chaat vendor, the spicy cucumber and radish vendor, the pakore wala, the jalebi wala- they all lined the stadium and the roads leading to it, making the most of the sea of humans coming to see the burning of the evil.

After the effigy was burnt with great noise and gaiety, and everyone started going back home, we looked forward to the coming home of our very own Ram ji, to take his blessings. We also believed that if you could bring a half burnt wooden piece from the effigy of Raavan, no thieves would ever pay you a visit.

Our ecofriendly Raavan effigy this year, made from a juice carton and old printouts

Now, we make our own effigy, do our own dahan (the burning) (this year, we spent the whole matchbox trying to do this as the wind was too strong in the evening)! and clean up th mess too afterwards...and my children have no idea about Ram Lila. But one of the most beautiful memories of my Dusshera away from home is of watching a big group of Bengalis on Durga Pujo at Puranmal restaurant...they were coming from the temple and were dressed traditionally - with big round deep red bindis, heavy jewellery, kohled eyes, and fine silk- i was mesmerised. That sight  made me too want to dress up for the occassion...and wish i was home, celebrating the most looked forward to festivals.

The 'dahan' in 2007- ignore the date printed in the picture- we didn't realise it had to be fixed!



 Diwali has always been more about shopping for gifts and new clothes and sweets and decorations and in India, fire crackers too. There would be a special pooja, to coax the goddess of wealth, Lakshmi, to grace our home, followed by firecrackers well past our bed time. The next morning would be spent cleaning up the wax from the candles and removing the diyas to be relit that evening...

 Now, we try to create the same memories for our kids, engaging in everything other than firecrackers (they are illegal here, and if you do find them at someone's party, you are breaking the law by lighting them!!!!). It is time to create some new memories (yippee!!!!) We are just 10 days away from the rangoli, the lights, new diyas, material for pooja, sweets, savouries for guests, gifts, new clothes (the only time of the year when kids willingly wear the traditional clothes!), meeting and greeting...and something to buy on Dhanteras!


Happy Festive Season and Happy  Memories everyone!!!









The Very First time!!!

It is always scary; the first time around. You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know how to go about it, you don’t know the level of skill required at your end...and you are wary of the experience so blatantly displayed by others! 

So, day before yesterday was  a scary morning for me...i had spent a few minutes looking at Wojhati, and then speaking to the RTA contact centre representative, getting an idea of what i should be asking for at the Metro station...it was going to be my first metro ride all alone, and only second ever! I have no nol cards, and wasn’t sure if i would be able to travel without one. I wanted to thank my friends Biju and Luke for having come to our reunion last year by Metro- since we met them there; i knew MoE for sure has a metro station on the Carrefour side.

It was going to be a long day, and using my experience from travelling in other cities in public transport, i carried another bag with my papers and water bottle (4 hours later, i wished i had kept a cereal bar too!).

I parked at MoE (Carrefour side!!- very important if you are using Metro to make to an appointment) and looking at my watch, guessed i had enough time. For my 11.45 appointment in Garhoud, i was at MoE at 10.30!

Finally i gathered all my papers once again, shoved them in the bag and got out of the car, double checking that i had everything i might need for the next couple of hours. As i walked in, i felt good, not really scared but apprehensive if i would be able to do it or would i have to reschedule my appointment at the last minute...I reconfirmed form the Customer Service the location of Metro station and started walking to the first floor. Close to Jacky's when you imagine (only the first time around!) that you will now enter the Metro premises, i realised it was a long 10 minutes’ walk. I looked at the others who were coming out, into the MoE, the 'pros' in the field and wondered if they all were coming for work or for pleasure. There were young Filipinos, dressed smartly in their work clothes, and there were young Arab mothers with their kids in tow, mother-daughter duo, some tourists with maps (didn’t anyone tell them that Dubai is a constant work-in-progress??? Maps don’t work here!!!!) and cameras in hand...I made my way to the Information counter and told the lady  i wanted to go and come back from Garhoud. The kind Filipina advised me that i would need a red ticket (I knew that from RTA call centre too) and the total fare would be AED 15.

Now, I have never been to Rashidiya as such but knew that it is the side i have to go to. I have never liked travelling by trains essentially because i always wondered how do i make sure i am in the right train...they do not usually carry names everywhere, nor do the staff check your tickets to make sure you are on the right train, before you are midway through your journey!! This was still my biggest worry. However, RTA has made it so simple by clearly marking which platform the train to Rashidiya will arrive at. I took the escalator and went up. It was not the rush hour and i was thankful for that. I wanted to sit in the Ladies and Children only cabin for my maiden journey across town! I had full five minutes to figure out its location- again, even when the train has not arrived, the location of the cabins is clearly marked, only if you have the time to find it out. I nodded to a fellow passenger  with a quick smile and proceeded to pick up a copy of Read, the free magazine for Metro users.

In flat five minutes, the train arrived. And as if by magic, the Security dressed in the very familiar army green uniform of the Dubai Police hovered around the ‘Ladies and Children only’ cabin to make sure men did not get into that, and if they did, they were politely guided to use the next cabin instead.

There was ample standing space and fewer seats. Soon, at the first stop itself, i found a seat and perched myself at my observation deck. Whether it was Athens or Paris (the two places where we extensively used the Metro), or now Dubai, the one thing that always makes me wonder is the people...if i could, i would want to know each one's story. We were in Athens at Christmas and apart form noticing the skin coloured stockings that all the women wore and their unwaxed arms (just an observation, no offence intended), I saw most of them were carrying gifts...Body Shop gift bags being the commonest, and sometimes, a bigger bag with multiple gifts- i wondered where were they coming from and where were they going to, who were those gifts for, from mother to daughter or aunt to niece or mother-in-law to daughter-in-law...i was fascinated by their courtesy and smiles and yet aloofness...Yesterday i noticed Filipinas- some dressed for office, some as Sales Staff, and yet others as probably domestic help? And there were some other nationalities too which i could not figure out by the colour of their skin. But it was great to see that there was a very mixed traveller profile- by nationality, by age, and by the reason of their travel. I could not help noticing their Nine West bags and some very interesting shoes. A young girl in an off shoulder top and unmade hair was wearing flip-flops, while the Filipina next to her in black leggings and a smart top was wearing shiny red wedges with black heels with an interesting hole in the centre of the heel for a design....I wondered why so amny of them had an iPod with them- how much do they want to stay immersed in their own world even when they come out of it? And those who didn’t were busy chattering on the phone, nonstop...the lady next to me took out her notebook and kept on writing some things to do, some schedules…I could not figure out her handwriting exactly…

In all, it was interesting, safe and though it stopped at every possible destination it could, and left me looking at my watch every 2 minutes or so hoping i would not be late; in flat 40 minutes, i was in Garhoud- having thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was very happy I had spared myself the agony of driving through Dubai traffic.

Only problem, there were no signboards pointing to my destination when i got out of the Metro station- God bless that man whom i stopped on the road and asked for the same....10 minutes’ walk and i was there, just in time for my appointment.

In all, highly recommended, if you do not mind spending better part of the morning on one appointment. I feel more confident of the Metro now, provided it is not the rush hour! I wonder though why all Metro stations do not have parking, and why they have not used their golden outdoor surfaces for harnessing solar energy....My return journey was smoother and as interesting though i did not have the time to find the ‘Ladies only’ cabin, more people got in than got out, some were standing, lesser were seating (i wonder why there are so few seats in the Metro) ...i was back just in time to do some rushed shopping at Home centre (it was last day of their sale!), grab a sandwich and get out before my free four hours of parking got over!