Finding Calm

"Now close your eyes....imagine something peaceful...try to remember something that makes you happy...your childhood, your mom, a day at the beach....go back...."

As the teacher says these soothing words at the end of the session, and I frantically try to transport myself to a happy, calm, serene, soothing place outside of the world around me. The only calming thing that pops up in my mind is the faces of my children...but it is not what the teacher means when he wants us to experience meditative sleep/ happiness in those five minutes of shavaasan.

As I wonder why it takes me forever to take my mind to happy times, I discover that it is because I find calm at an unusual place.

I find that the most appealing images of life to me are those of people eating - in a restaurant (not a fancy one with piano playing the background, and the fountain's tricking sound soothing you; but those of common tea shops and Bikanerwala's, and Haldiram's and the likes), in a food court, on the bus and train stations, in fast food outlets, in offices, at home..... Everywhere.

The reason is pretty simple. I find that looking at all the people eating makes me happy because it tells me that all is not yet lost. It tells me that in spite of knowing that they are eating stuff that is supposed to be rich in all the things bad for us- oil, sugar and salt, cholesterol and saturated fats- they are eating it and they look fine. It is comforting in an unusual way.

Yes, it might be bad for the body but it tells me that so many people are healthy enough to eat this 'bad' stuff- may be once in a week, once in a month or even daily. Their hearts are in the right place, doing the job they are meant to do; their muscles and bones will still take them back to their cars and their homes and their offices, their waistlines are never going to go away but then they know it....it is a sin they a committing very knowingly, and enjoying it too. It fills me with a sense of calm and peace to see the world around me at that point immersed in eating what they want to, and enjoying every bite that they take...right from the young children to their grandparents. It tells me that we all are in the same boat, even if it will eventually sink one day; it makes me feel a part of the bigger community of human beings who are committing the same mistakes (another way of saying that it reduces my personal guilt!) and most importantly, it takes my mind away from the harsher realities of food- hunger, pesticides, additives, preservatives (all the E numbers), hormone fed fruits, veggies and chickens, artery blockages, reduced immunities, gastric infections, tipping needles on the weighing scale, failed kidneys and livers, and doctors.

I know, it is warped logic, totally opposite of what I tell myself and my kids....but it is calming, even if only for a little while.

There is no rule about what should or should not calm you, is there?